"Look what I found."
An invitation I had written 35 years ago appeared in my messages. I had shared a train ride through Europe with a cute photographer and obviously had sent him a letter to visit me in my hometown. I scrambled for a very vague memory and messaged back "It took you a while to respond". It was a giggle to look at this sweet, courageous initiative half my life ago. Hitting on a guy? I suppose I had those bold moments even if I always felt shy.
How cute that he kept that note. I checked out his FB profile, still good looking and successful and aw, his 30-year-old girlfriend expects a baby.
Wait a minute; the man is my age.
Can I have another child? No. Why the heck not?
Perhaps I want a daughter now after I finally grew up. But no way, women are stopped in their tracks after menopause. I am not for overpopulating the world but it seriously bugs that men are allowed to do so. What about balance, fairness, democracy?
Biologists point to Darwin. I point to patriarchal mindset.
No, I don't want to be rational at the moment. I take my pissedoffness and run with it:
If loosing the ability to bear children doesn't already suck, the loss of hormones results in wobbly skin and wrinkly faces. And here's (yet another) glitch in the human design; men loose their youthful looks as much as we do but while our ovaries shut down they keep their sperm producing power. I suppose with that preserved potential some of them feel entitled to simply, easily and conveniently exchange their old wives with younger child bearing models.
Why do young women accept the run down bodies of their partners while fancy old men can’t bear old women? As men fear their own aging demise looking into the mirror of their mature spouses, shouldn’t young women be afraid of their future in the face of furrows?
What makes old men attractive to them, the promise of being taken care of, money, power, a dad-like safe haven? And why, when it is the other way round are successful women with young boyfriends still looked at as cougars?
The question is always; who profits from what? In this case it seems a win/win for the male and a loose/loose for the female.
If it is all biological, evolution and such what would be the reason for nature trusting men to make a responsible decision about creating off spring and not women? Looking at our human history I don’t quite see where that trust would come from as the patriarchy has raped the planet for centuries; it would mean that Mama Earth has a battered woman syndrome.
Grossly overpopulating the planet is selfish and what about the personal drama? As long as most men die between 80 and 90 they produce a child knowing that the pain of their death is included in the parenting package and could happen as early as their kid hits 15.
Staying in this old paradigm the child would be robbed of its protector and provider, not a natural choice.
Coming to biology’s defense is the fact that it is much harder for a woman’s body to grow a child for 9 months than it is for a man to make one in a couple seconds. Sure, but for the sake of believing in smart evolution why not make the woman’s body stronger then instead of taking rights away from her? Random mutation is a lame excuse.
It’s lopsided and there’s no way around it.
This added power gives wrinkled men the confidence not to freak out and run to their cosmetician while women are so panicky about aging and loosing their “pretty” value that in some cases they already get Botox at 30 or younger. How many times have I cursed the mirror and pulled the skin of my face to my ears pondering cosmetic surgery or at least a couple fillers…
The “future is female” movement is the pink power expression of the change that’s happening. Women empowerment is initiated, celebrated on many levels and we are beginning to walk our strength and truth, we own bodies of all shapes, skins of all colors and our ages.
Not good enough is fading.
Women over 50 having kids these days; does mindset change the body’s abilities? Have we just been brainwashed to expect menopause and all its unfortunate side effects? Meaning if we don’t wait for it, it won’t come? A friend of mine doesn’t have any signs of menopause with 55, not because she wants kids but because she’s passionate about not loosing her sex drive. Is her desire overriding her “biology”?
Looking at balance, fairness and democracy; we can’t wait for it. We acknowledge what is and transform crap into gold.
We need new thoughts and it starts at birth.
Stop telling boys not to cry and to be tough, let them be sensitive and have a feel for their own beauty not just that of their women. Stop telling girls to be pretty, let them be strong and creative an have a sense for independence from men.
Give both of them the chance to be who they truly are. One thing is for sure; the alignment of mind, body, soul and spirit will create a new aesthetic, and bodies will be expressions of our essence.
Balance is possible, it is up to us.
The new species of women are rebel queens; powerful warrioresses, wise rulers, compassionate mothers and passionate lovers. Supported by sensible kings who long just as much for truth and freedom from limitations as we do.
There will be a time when our evolution is saturated with awareness and age doesn’t not matter only affinities do, the frequency we’re on. That’s a whole new paradigm of a free life.
At that time, the option to live as long as we like will be reality and with that even the hormonal problem will be solved.
That women always draw the shorter stick will end with a new mindset of men and women, a conscious r-evolution where we co-create with nature.