“What’s your style?” I was asked in an interview for a fashion blog.
I scrambled for descriptions. For decades I had a definite preference for the “bohemian warrior woman” from classy cool to rock’n roll and the occasional rattling rebel chains. Then I met my midlife crisis and the anger not to be seen made me embark on a new journey into who I truly am. I looked into my wardrobe and the same old made me feel sad and tired. “Play dress up”, whispered my inner child and I finally listened to her.
I dove into styles I had judged and disliked, feared and mocked - and came out a new woman; I lost my grumpy in playfully exploring my truth. I felt that I was so much more what I had thought and a year later, when girly pink and frilly fabrics didn’t worry me any more I created the concept of fashion therapy.
“My style is not to have a style,” I answered, “but to wear what I feel.”
#stylemehappy #stylemefierce #stylemeconfident and #stylingfromtheinsideout became my guiding hashtags.
How to style your self happy?
When you discover in your wardrobe who you have become and align with your true and unique energy that often is not represented in it, you write the story you really want; your happy story. Your outfits become your affirmations.
“I am happy.”
Forget what you think you know about yourself and your outfits; FEEL them.
What makes you happy in the world of forms and styles?
Snapshot styles that you love and long for, spontaneous and not pondered about
Snapshot colors that make you giggle or smile
Create a Pinterest board (or any other visual board) with these styles and colors
Inspect and feel your wardrobe
Is this YOU represented in your outfits?
Which of your clothes makes you frown? Why? Which story do they belong to?
Are there items that make you smile? How?
Who or what created your wardrobe? Voices from the past? Rules and regulations? Which beliefs hide in them?
Why and how does this outfit matter to you?
Visit a clothing store with many different styles and try out what is “so not me!!”
Dress up in what you have judged or were afraid of; the sexy, yuppie, superficial, girly, bossy…
How does it make you feel? Why?
“Sit in it”, let the outfit tell you why you judge it
Our judgements are our guides.
For me it were pink and sensual outfits that made me run; from what? Letting them talk to me opened my heart to my girly self who I had denied since I was a tomboy child and let me admit to my “femme fatale” who I had feared and fought for years; I even discovered a mysterious story behind it.
Resistance makes us stiff, exploration and acceptance make us flexible to find our true happy
Touch and discover the feeling of colors; which color evokes your particular happy on this particular day?
the sweetness of pink?
a powerful demanding red?
the freedom and clarity of white?
the bubbly love to communicate of light blue? The power to tell your truth of vibrant blue?
a protective black?
the heart opening depth of green?
the sunny “see me” yellow?
Chose one of the “out of your box’ pieces or an unusual color; an outfit that causes your fierce or mischievous giggle and - wear it in the real world.
How does it make you feel?
What’s the reaction around you?
Include the bigger picture
Make your outfits an artful adventure; consume less, reuse more; let our creativity bloom.
Experiment with vintage
Combine finds in your closet with new trendy items
Discover amazingness in “once before loved” designer stores
Spend your money with love for the planet; buy upcycled, organic, sustainable, vegan, faux fur, faux leather; there are so many options to do a little good
Resell your fashion
Doing good with our money gives us power.
When we feel aligned with our outfits happiness happens.
Happiness lies in listening to our truth and acting upon it; it’s a process and not all of your experiments will come out as your “true vibration’ but they’ll get you closer to your uniqueness. The blue and white polka dot suit was a lot of fun for me but I sold it. It was a sidekick for a day, a role I played; it is powerful to experience and stand up for our boundaries. I’m not as extrovert as I would need to be as a polkadot girl and that’s just fine. There are empowering and hindering No’s and feeling them on our skin helps to discern what’s right for us. I still don’t know why wearing orange in public makes me cringe…
“I can’t do ruffles,” one of my styling clients said,” they are much too girly.” She tried the challenge outfit I gave her with biting-her-lips resistance and came out laughing; it made her feel her inner comedienne, which she never dared to let out because her parents had told her that she her funny was silly. Will she ever wear ruffles again? They certainly made her feel brave enough to add quirky colors to her wardrobe formerly packed with only gray and black outfits. She discovered that years of corporate restrictions had made her forget who she was beneath her rational straightforward manager self. Ruffles kicked her out of her unhappy comfort zone.
There’s as much happiness in our No as in our Yes and only experiencing it brings clarity.
I rarely wear sneakers but today I dug them out; my gift to myself is to let fashion and stories, thoughts and plans go and take my dog on a jog.
What do you need to wear to help you feel happy right now?