“I am a Rebel Queen,” I said, “but let me give you a couple pointers….”
Peta Sklarz, the artist on her creative way to paint my very own inner Queen took the notes and thanked me for the pictures I pointed her to.
The Queen archetype is what describes our unique power. So here you, go Peta.
Look, this is me.
This is my powerful rebel femme rattling the proverbial limitations, my emotional, psychological “jail bars” on Sunset Boulevard shaking my old mindset.
“Okay, great,” Peta answered.
“Would you like to see the painting? It’s done,” Peta texted a month later.
The painting was PINK.
My first emotional response was to mess up my hair or give her an eye patch. Then I let it sink in.
I had been surprised by pink before. A black fabrics and edge loving woman, identified with the warrior and the sword of independence I had stumbled over pink in my Instagram gallery about a year ago. What’s with all this girly stuff?
In the beginning of my exploration of “ageless” via outfits with my rebel in angry bloom against ageism I had declared that we “wear what we want.” The basic idea was to find and show outfits out of my comfort zone. After that declaration I let my emotions and intuition take over. Out came pink, feminine, even girly and sexy styles; my inner Barbie took over. I didn’t know I had an inner Barbie. It was a giggle; my friend with the doll’s name whose first boyfriend was to high schoolers’ delight, called Ken and I did a photo shoot called Rebel and Barbie. Life is theater and this part of my script had turned out pink.
It was fascinating to me, the tough single mom and self-made former entrepreneur to finally fess up being a girl, a woman, a femme formidable. I never wanted to be a “sweet little angel.” But…. I obviously had phases like an artist.
Months of intuitively chosen sexy, edgy, risky, rocky fashion between princess and warrior and matching dramatic, challenging, funky and fun life explorations later I was confronted by pink sweetness again, Peta’s drawing.
When you stumble over things twice they gain importance.
I remembered how I had remodeled my ancient house in Portugal; I let go of planning and rational thinking and listened to the whispers of a deeper knowing. My house told me a medieval story of betrayal, passion and magic, which showed up in the design of sacred geometry windows, an eccentric fireplace, a bed on a pedastal, bronze angels holding lamps and many niches for statues. A guest commented, ”it looks like a church in here.” Much later I found that it had been the home of heretic monks 700 years back.
Now I had been remodeling and reinventing my self. What will my outfits continue to tell me? Where will they point me to? Who will they attract?
Artist Peta became one of the messengers in my discovery of my authentic self, also called personal branding if we look at it the mindful, heart centered way.
The queen is our ruler, the archetype of ownership.
My pink rebel queen became a path and they begin with questions.
We are made of many stories, some were explored in our past others are still to be discovered or perfected and felt in their depth in our future. My pink painting tells some of my stories; it shows the bustier of the courtesan of my medieval memories, the loyal dog symbolizing my journey to trust and the fierce yellow boots with the Fleur de Lys of royalty, high above the ground and so easy to stumble in.
We often identify with the roles we play. Our inner queen wants us to see our truth, the “more” or the beyond. She is the much talked about authentic Self we all want or should meet; the answer to so many questions.
Sure, we are the roles we played in our lives’ scripts but we are ruled by a main energy, our powerful essence. Because I see life as a movie script I see the queen as our agent, director and producer. She gives us our roles with a plan and purpose, which we’ll discover one day if we’re getting out of the princess slumber. The queen finds the locations for our battles and triumphs and casts our supporting actors. She kicks us to the curb when we’re too stubborn or to “into the game” to see the truth.
When we don’t listen there will always be the doubt or even this underlying anger that lashes out bitching when we least expect it.
The queen painting made me aware that I now have stepped into my compassion, understanding and unconditional love which always waited under the attitudes, fights and struggles, rebellions and resistance of my princess on the pea and her fierce rebel companion. I am a rebel alright but not against this “so freaking unfair!!! stuff” but for the cause of self love and to inspire others to be all they are made to be. I will always question the status quo and rearrange the colors inherent in “truth” towards freedom, fiercely exploring, discovering and mixing it up. My goal is to show and to awaken feelings in others not to tell what’s right or wrong; there are many interpretations and stories to tell and to chose from.
The queen is a branding coach and as such gives us the clarity to pursue our happy end.
If you haven’t met your queen yet play with me.
What does “queen” mean to you?
What does it have to do with you?
To envision and evoke your queen might be the piece you’re missing.
1. Envision your queen
What clothes does she wear to express who she is?
What are her colors, her main energies?
What’s her attitude? How does she walk, talk?
What accessories does she carry?
2. What does she own?
What is in her treasure chest to share?
Wisdom, experiences, talents and powers…
3. Who does she rule?
What are the roles she gave you?
Who do you identify with most?
How do your personas fit or fight each other?
How would you describe the persona you are in right now?
Is she your queen or a tool of your queen to get you to places and aha moments?
Who are your supporting actors, lovers or foes?
4. How does your outer queendom look like? For branding purposes let’s call Instagram your queendom.
Is it hilly, coastal, serene? Are there rough roads, stumbling stones, thought laboratories and treasure chests? Is it like Halo or the Legend of Zelda, a racing game or runway?
What feeling do your landscapes evoke?
Is it inviting or threatening, fun or salesy?
Easy to navigate?
Are there road maps to your message?
Banners with your knowing?
Do you offer daggers of truth, chocolates of unconditional love and jewels of innovative thoughts or your raw truth?
5. How do you rule your queendom?
Unconditional or demanding?
Ruling or giving?
Do you preach, chat, sell, tell stories, discuss or converse?
Do you guard your treasures? Share them freely?
How do you interact with other powerful queens? Do you see your own powers in their mirrors or is it the “who’s the prettiest?” competition?
My script writing queen loves foreshadowing and synchronicity.
When I was trying to find a place for my new painting on my walls packed with art work, integrating the queen into my life, a memory from exactly a year ago showed up.
On September 21, 2018 I had posted a poem on Instagram.
Lost and Found
by Angie Weihs
And suddenly you find yourself
for the pain you ate
the insults you swallowed
the demons you dared
and the mirrors you broke.
You find yourself
praising your enemies
whose daggers exposed your soul.
You find yourself
loving it all.
You are a damn amazing
She became my avatar for the next year. She meant doubts and pulling my hair, passion and searching for purpose, giggles and Tequilas. The new phase of creating my Self took place for and on Instagram where I built my Queendom the way I do things; intuitively and asking questions after pictures and proclamations were posted. I learned to understand, navigate, nurture and polish my own queendom while building it.
My Rebel Queen asked me to step into my sassy rebel booties. The boots are high and I still stumble but I wear them bravely; after the blue of truth I am walking the yellow of sunny embrace and the responsibility of the Fleur de Lys.
My boots are my Passport to the world.
I would love to hear from your Queen.