“Before I knew you, I wasn’t this nice,” I said live in a FB group with 10,00 women followers. I was high on being seen and accepted during a women’s brunch in Redondo Beach. So I spilled a couple beans. In my journey through judgements I had turned myself around; instead of judging I saw the beauty in every one of the women in my groups, okay in most. When we don’t judge the fear of being judged shrinks.
“I have been called a bitch,” I continued. It was a freeing, hilarious moment as nobody, me included, had expected it.
I was wearing what some might call a bit of a risqué outfit; a snake print mini skirt over patterned fishnet stocking and over the knee shiny boots, a sheer top over a shiny faux leather bustier and a transparent long sleeve maxi dress veiling it all. I like the mysterious touch of sheer and medieval layering.
My choice was a result of my months long journey into authenticity and foreshadowed my moment of truth. The black multilayered outfit, which I had chosen consciously as a statement of both my strength and need of protection, empowered me like a subliminal message; “be transparent.”
It was not just telling a tidbit of my truth but also acting on my feelings; to hug women without knowing if they would like it or hug me back. I embodied my feelings without letting fear and doubt be in the way. It had often before kept me in “wait and see’ mode; show me first that you like me… But if everybody waits we don’t get to know each other.
When our “second skin” becomes a part of our daily creativity we communicate with deeper parts of ourselves open to receive winks from our inner knowing. In that moment we are also linked to the Zeitgeist, picking up and being uplifted by what’s in the air. Empowerment is becoming a world wide motto since millions of women marched for their liberation in 2017, following a long tradition of protests organized by women and now showing in many of the designers amazing art.
It’s a powerful dynamic; fashion designers reflect on and express our desires to be fiercely unique and in return, when manifested in their outfits, support our goal with their design.
The hastag #authentic has 9.2 million followers.
Even in LA where people are used to a lot of fashion extravaganza showing my bra or bustier under a transparent top is an act of bravery and makes life into a runway. Like a model we have to adapt a new way of walking, the empowered walk of straight up confidence. It doesn’t work every day; it’s more like exercising woman power.
Tip 1 from the fearless front
Make an appointment with yourself like going to the gym with the mantra “today I exercise my femininity”. Art openings, theater premieres or performance art are perfect occasions for your tests. People anywhere in the world are much more likely to love and not judge what you wear expressing your self amidst arty vibes.
Watch your feelings, let your dare empower but also talk to you. Are there any memories, images, ideas or judgement coming up? Let them guide you. Hand writing your experience can give you insights into your deeper stories.
For me it always was either hiding or being my sensual self. Experimenting with low cut dresses and bustiers like courtesans in the 16th century or Madonna in the eighties provoked my fierce; each dare rattled one of my accumulated fears and beliefs. I have a deep connection to medieval times and the story of a courtesan since I lived in Portugal and experienced “weird” memories and researched a mysterious story. When I followed the winks and hints of my intuitive dress ups over the years I saw the archetype of the courtesan showing up several times - and each time I ran. For me it’s time to dive into her story. Is it time to watch your inner movies?
If you are interested in your very own challenge outfit I’d love to guide you into your desire or fear to be truthful and authentic. There’s so much more than what we have learned to see in daily life. We will use playful dress ups with the happy end (and beginning) of a sheer outfit carefully selected for you.
Contact me for your adventurous outfit challenge.
Sheer is also an expression of our sensuality. How far do we want to go? What does it mean to be a “dangerous woman” and prosecuted for our powers for centuries? More about the risks of sensuality coming up soon.
I found a couple exquisite items for your exploration into transparency.
Click to buy.
And a few more…
I always loved the sensual in demure…