We are the mothers of sons who become men we (dis) like


"If you don't sit still, you'll get it! You know that, damned." The boy sat up, straight like a little soldier, hands on the table, eyes wide open. The dad who reprimanded his son did not loosen up, his stern face seemed frozen. The mom batted her eyes.

That was just a week ago, in a cute cafe frequented by modern couples in a gentrified LA neighborhood.

The responsibility to change the world lies in us parents and it starts with the babies in our wombs.

Today it's about the boys who might become men ruling our societies on the side of women and their moms who have the power to let them be all they are, embracing both their male and female virtues.

Men still have the power in our patriarchal societies but that doesn't mean that they "deserve" it as just, balanced, compassionate and fair kings. They have an ancient history of being screwed up as human beings. Those who break through and welcome their feminine sides are as adorable as women gaining their strength. We as mothers have the power to let them be Yin and Yang right from the start.

Undeserved power, entitlement and arrogance has unnerved me for decades, brutality and ruthlessness got me rallied up too often. I hated what I felt I had no power over. I'm still not physically stronger than most men or became a senator to change the world but lots has changed not just in me but in society. I was an emotional rebel princess on the pea, now I am a passionate rebel queen. But it's not about revenge; it's about using the fire of our anger to light up feminine qualities in everybody.

More and more women find empowerment in self love, and the world sees women rising everywhere.

This new confidence of women, our powerful inner warrioress,  supported by the fierce ladies before us who have fought for the simplest human rights to be extended to us, like wearing pants or voting, is our chance. It is our answer to the many outcries of "Mother Earth".

The male qualities in us give us the strength to stand up for the power of female qualities in our boys.

I offered my son Kung Fu and dance classes, cooking and fencing, an art and a math tutor. He played Halo and collected swords but also had a couple Barbies. Which, I must admit were never a success. I suspect I really bought those for myself. I let him decide for himself and asserting his vision of life as much as encouraging him to cry and to ask for help. He came out sweet, loving and strong, he would be the balanced ruler I'd endorse.

We are the women who create the men we love.

When we put "fem the future" on our banners, many reacted with "but we need men".  The fear that women lust for competition and revenge is often immediate but ruling as women means valuing love, compassion and understanding. We don't want to be right, better and more repressive. We don't want to smack men, we want to lift them up; the divine masculine is as cool as the divine feminine. It's the value in both we're after and balancing it in perfect Yin and Yang. We vote for integration not segregation.

It's all about balance.

The word "educare" carries the message: it means to train, and "educere" means to lead out. We train body, mind, soul and spirit and lead to knowledge, which again is both, the inner knowing and the outer knowledge.

We have nine months to think balanced thoughts and feel the appreciation of this beautiful planet and all its inhabitants, which we'd intend for our children to embody. What an amazing time to grow for both, mom and kid.

Most women know unconditional love at least at the moment they give birth to a child. That's a power worth cultivating and putting on a pedestal. When we let go of how we were told to mold our kids but instead listen and feel them and open the world to their uniqueness we are using this power wisely. We draw out who they are not squeeze in our preconceived notions of who we think they should be. We offer them the perfect environment in which to grow, like a flower wanting the right mix of sun, shade, soil and water. Inner nature is in tune with outer nature. Perfection in it's weird way also includes the imperfect, the glitches and challenges through which mom and son will grow.

Be vulnerable, baby boy. It's an asset not a weakness.

Cry, it's a gift not a demise.

Dress up, enjoy pretty stuff, paint pretty pictures, dance and nurture your puppy. It's cool to enjoy style and amazing to "mother" what you love.

Seriously, don't we adore men with compassion and style? I certainly do.

We let our boys have their super powers but also the magical powers of witches who brew strange potions in cauldrons.

We offer them experiences and things without wrapping them into judgment, we let them decide for themselves. We trust their innate amazingness. (and nudge them a little if needed)

The order to be manly is as suffocating as being reduced to Barbie. The answer lies in opening all doors, making all feelings available from being powerful to being vulnerable.

Let tough and teasing be cruel feats from the past and no sensitive kid or journalists in wheel chairs will be bullied anymore.

Super girls and super boys will create their world in balance with their powerful and magical souls.

Moms to the rescue.