I'm a narcissistic brat.

Angie rebel.jpg

Larissa nearly became a friend of mine last year in the summer; we met a couple times and wanted to do a coaching project together but did not find common ground.

She had introduced herself in a rather peculiar way, “I am a deceiving, lying bitch. And that’s okay."

Wow, what?

I understood what she wanted to relay but I didn’t feel it. She is an adapt of Byron Katie; to make these bold self-forgiving statements might be one of her teachings. I have to check her out now because...

Yesterday I looked at my many fashion posts with the judgment of "superficiality." What the heck was I doing? My task with my social media is to present myself as an empowering writer and lifelong rebel for the cause of my soul. Being the example of real life woman power rather than the teacher of concepts.

“I am a narcissistic brat” lit up in my brain.

Wow, what?

I added  “And that’s okay.”

Yes, there’s narcissism in what I do. I always loved mirrors and I love some of my pictures. Narcissism though, the many mirrors who told me countless stories about myself, brought me to self love on a much deeper level. With that I gained a confidence I never had when I was smooth skinned, bright eyed and wrinkle free. 

Fashion therapy it’s my daily practice, like Yoga or meditation. I invite my outfits to be my guru by deep listening, open to their messages or changing my perception by changing shoes. It helps to understand the old stories in my head and the limitations I apply to my self and others.

Yes, I am a brat. I say No to what and who does not sit well with me. Who judges us as brats, our inside or outside critics might not have a clue that we actually fight for our truth and sometimes it needs a little stomping to find our voice. Of course I was also known to give things, people and ideas the finger but I am finding love beneath it. My brat shows me my judgments and I have the chance to forgive my self.

I use clothes for awareness of our feelings and expression of our truth. Everything I do points to discovering outmoded beliefs and shaking them up. In small ways. Baby steps. I love quirky not serious. Child-like wonder not grown-up pondering, which I do often enough; I'm a Gemini rising and always have to have both.  I'm weird that way.

I talk about spiritual concepts like “surrender” in “surrendering" to the white wedding dress I always hated. I make it about “abundance” when I wear a vibrant color mixed pattern outfit. I tie spiritual concept into every day life, into Free People, Top Shop and NastyGal as much as into Rebecca Minkoff and Dolce and Armani.

Am I a narcissistic brat? Yes, but also a spiritual warrioress and loving human being.