I just came back from Paris and climbed up the stairs to the apartment of my ex-morphed-into-brother. The architect I had passed on the level below nearly shut his door onto his hand, staring at me. I smiled. I liked the attention. Obviously; I wore a tight, short skirted two piece from Dolce, it's bright red matched by bright red heels.
It was 1988. My ex-morphed-into-brother told me later that said architect asked him in a secretive manner, "Did you hire a call girl...?"
I laughed. This was cute.
Did the outfit reveal my soul? My desires? Was it hiding my fear to connect with men on a deeper level? "Check me out but don't touch." Or did I have an inner whore calling?
If you believe in reincarnation or genetic memory, that we can link to scenes from the past as their energy lingers all around us or that we live in a virtual reality where everything is possible, the ladder is true. I had connected to a medieval story on a deep, deep level in which I was a courtesan in 1248. I had looked into the mirror and she looked back at me, bright make up, wild hair, lots of powder... More than that I had visions of 1248 like movie scenes projected onto "reality". People in my life unknowingly played roles of the past, which I only discovered years later researching the history of the 700 year old house.
Imagine, my inner courtesan coming back to life in a red Dolce and Gabbana...
Outfits are not just things we buy because they are in fashion. They express deeper levels of ourselves. They become invitations, attacks, protective armors or embodiments of our ignorance. Even not caring is a message.
Outfits not only evoke, they are feelings.
When we dress with intuitive awareness they can become many things; flashlights to our soul, winks of change, time travel, revealing our beliefs, manifesting our truth. They can be oracles and divinatory. Fashion therapy is the most exciting of all vision quests and clarity tools. I experienced many incredible and intense journeys; creating my fashion therapy course based on my vanity, struggles and decades of adventures into women empowerment is a juicy, revolutionary gift from the goddesses. “Love your outfits, love yourself” How much better can life coaching get?
Your wardrobe is a story book.
Let me know what your clothes are telling you. Comments are cool:)
Tips to find your outfit truth
1. What do you feel when you see yourself in the mirror? Who do you see?
2. Radical honesty: how do you chose your outfits? Did somebody judge or make you wear a certain style in your past and you still heat that voice?
3. Are you hiding your body, your true feelings, your authentic nature?
3. Is this outfit really YOU? Are you following trends that don't mean anything to you? Do you feel the need to fit in?
4. Who are the styles of other women that touch your desire?
5. Look at female archetypes, which powers and images come closest to your most glorious vision of yourself?
6. Write your vision of your most beautiful self in a year from now not counting with any obstacles.
7. Look at yourself in the mirror, can you see your vision of yourself?
8. Create a mind map. Your vision in the middle and arrows to all possible ways how to get there.
9. Create a vision board celebrating your desires
10. Put a mantra of how you want to be in your phone: I am....
11. Take baby steps towards your vision, change small things or big things, whatever it take to manifest the art you really are.
Just in case you're in the mood for more of my story: At the time of the red Parisian outfit I had just made a bunch of money, drove a shiny Beamer and felt amazing about my skinny body. 7 years earlier, living on my own in my medieval story house, a purchase packed with intrigues and trouble, I had felt the opposite; unhappy, fat, invisible. I had stuffed my face late at night with spaghetti or donuts, washed them down with red wine and was so grumpy that I threw a series of marsh mellows against the fresh painted walls... Which actually became rather enlightening when I hosed them off the next morning.
In those days I wore jeans and loose tees or shirts painfully aware of the fat hanging over my belt. I did not buy clothes bigger than a 6, so the pants didn't fit and I had to hide the safety pins or strings that held them up.
I was hiding from myself, I did not want to feel my fear and loneliness. I was hiding from the world, looking at my feet rather than into people's eyes and the viscous circle continued. When the trouble around my house was over, I had won the court case and owned it now, the pounds dropped and I literally looked up. I threw a house warming party for which I dressed up - and met the fateful lover though whom the story of my mysterious house revealed itself.
It was always the same for me; unhappiness meant gaining weight and hiding in baggy dresses... Baggy dresses meant not wanting to look at myself on any level.
I had a boss who forced me to wear frumpy outfits to hide my "sensual nature." She was afraid of women power and literally shut off my light. Her abusiveness became an eye opener; I had felt guilty for being me. When I was finally out of the martyr zone and didn't give a shoot anymore if she'd fire me or not, I wore what I wanted; beautiful gowns, often black or red. In her eyes black is the color of the dark and devious. Red is the lower chakra, the sexual and forbidden. "I allow you to wear this," she commented, "because your loving aura now outshines the demon colored outfit."
I used my overweight protective armor to guide me to it's cause, it's roots and my story of "not good enough." I discovered a different appreciation of my self and my body and began to treat it with more respect. My soul wants to be seen as who she is through my energy, my actions and my body., which is her temple worthy to be loved and adorned.
But even temples get swamped by storms, dust and dirt and need constant care and clean ups.
Owning our true selves is a process, sometimes theatrical and dressed up, at other times doubtful and in pajamas. We walk our talk; we're funky, yuppie, rocky, boring or exciting, loud or like a whisper... until we've got it. The truth. Our truth. What does this matter to us? What does this matter to my soul?
There are days when I am open and the world responds to me and other days where I am absent and could as well be a ghost.
Who wants to be a ghost?
Join me for vision board creation in December or fashion therapy starting in January. Announcements and details coming soon.